Reed’s Reads of Wisdom Wednesdays™: The Most Important Thing About Power Is What You Refuse to Do With It: Why Real Strength Is Often Revealed Through Restraint
Everybody wants power until power gives them the ability to do something they should not do. We usually measure strength by what someone can accomplish.
How much authority do they have?
How much influence do they carry?
How hard can they fight?
Superhero stories make those questions even bigger because their characters can lift impossible weights, survive devastating attacks and possess abilities ordinary people could never imagine.
But there is another kind of strength that does not receive nearly enough attention: the strength to stop yourself. The ability to control your anger when you could unleash it. The discipline to refuse revenge when you finally have the advantage. The character to possess power without allowing power to possess you.
That lesson runs throughout my novel series S.O.L.A.D.™: Soldiers of Light Against Darkness™: The Angelo™ & Angeline™ Chronicles. Angelo™, Angeline™, Jeff and the others may possess extraordinary abilities, but the real test of a hero is never simply what that hero can do.
Sometimes character is revealed most clearly by what you could do—but choose not to do. Proverbs 16:32 says, “He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, And he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.”
God places self-control above conquest.
Power Without Self-Control Is Dangerous
Power itself is not evil. Money is power. Knowledge is power. Authority is power. Influence is power. Words are power. Even the phone in your hand gives you the ability to communicate something to hundreds or thousands of people in seconds.
The danger comes when power is placed in the hands of someone who cannot control themselves. Give a compassionate person more influence and they may find more ways to help people. Give an angry person greater influence and suddenly that anger has a larger weapon. Give a humble person authority and they may use it to lift others. Give a prideful person authority and everybody around them may eventually be expected to serve their ego.
Power magnifies character. That is why growing in strength, influence or authority must also involve growing in wisdom and discipline. The more power you have, the more self-control you need.
Kevin Learns That Strength Without Control Can Become Dangerous
Kevin Edwards becomes Angelo™, one of the most powerful beings in the S.O.L.A.D.™ story, but extraordinary abilities do not remove ordinary human emotions. Kevin can still become angry, frightened, frustrated and overwhelmed.
Book I forces him to confront what can happen when those emotions begin controlling his power. At one point, Kevin realizes that his anger nearly made his abilities dangerous to the very people he cares about. Instead of pretending everything is fine, he recognizes that something inside him needs attention.
That realization is important because real maturity is not saying, “Look how powerful I am.” Real maturity sometimes means admitting, “I am not in the right condition to use this power responsibly.”
There are moments when stepping away is not cowardice. Sometimes stepping away protects you and everyone around you from a decision anger may make before wisdom has the opportunity to speak.
We All Have More Power Than We Realize
Most of us cannot fly, generate force fields or battle demons, but we still possess forms of power that can hurt people. You know things about the people closest to you. You know your spouse’s vulnerabilities, your friend’s insecurities, your coworker’s mistakes and your family’s private struggles. During an argument, you may know the exact sentence that would cause the deepest wound.
You could say it. You could expose them. You could post the screenshot. You could repeat something they trusted you with. You could make sure they hurt as badly as you do. That is power. But just because you can use it does not mean you should.
Sometimes the most powerful thing you say during an argument is the thing you decide not to say. Anybody can strike once they know where someone is vulnerable. Character is knowing where the vulnerable place is and refusing to attack it simply because anger gave you the opportunity.
Jeff Reminds Us That Strength Still Needs Discipline
Jeff: Ward of Law is brave, skilled and battle-tested, but Jeff also carries anger. Wiseman J understands that, which is why he reminds Jeff that controlling his emotions—especially his anger—is part of what he must do.
That warning does not diminish Jeff’s strength. It recognizes the responsibility that comes with it. Jeff can wield his staff, battle demons and protect innocent people, but those abilities do not remove his need for self-control.
In fact, the stronger someone becomes, the more important restraint becomes. The same principle applies to us. The more authority you receive, the more carefully you should handle it. The larger your platform becomes, the more disciplined your words should become. The more people trust you, the more responsibility comes with that trust.
Growth in power should also mean growth in character.
Anger Is Not the Same Thing as Strength
We sometimes confuse anger with power. The loudest person in the room appears strong. The person who immediately retaliates may believe they are showing everyone they cannot be disrespected. Walking away can feel like losing, while striking back can feel like winning.
Proverbs 16:32 challenges that thinking. Scripture tells us that the person who can control their own spirit demonstrates greater strength than someone capable of conquering an entire city.
It takes strength to be angry and remain thoughtful. It takes strength to be insulted and refuse to become cruel. It takes strength to have the perfect comeback and leave it unsaid. It takes strength to correct someone without humiliating them and to have authority without abusing it.
Anybody can explode. Self-control requires something deeper.
Isabella Gives Kevin a Better Definition of Strength
One of Kevin’s most important lessons comes from his grandmother, Isabella Edwards. She teaches him that a strong man is at peace with God, himself and others. She does not tell Kevin that strong people never become angry. Instead, she teaches him that anger should produce positive change rather than destruction.
That distinction matters because there are things worth becoming angry about. Injustice should bother us. Cruelty should bother us. Seeing people mistreated should bother us. But righteous anger and uncontrolled rage are not the same thing.
Anger can motivate you to protect someone, confront injustice or correct something that is wrong. It can also convince you that hurting someone is justified simply because you have been hurt. Wisdom knows the difference.
Sometimes Restraint Is the Victory
Not every victory looks dramatic. Sometimes victory is going home instead of escalating an argument. Sometimes it is deleting the angry post before you publish it. Sometimes it is refusing to gossip even though you know the entire story. Sometimes it is gaining authority over someone who once mistreated you and choosing to treat them fairly anyway.
Nobody may applaud those moments. Nobody may know that you had every opportunity to strike back and chose not to. There may be no recognition for swallowing the cruel response, refusing revenge or deciding not to expose someone.
But those moments reveal character because restraint is power under control.
What Do You Do When You Have the Advantage?
Character becomes especially visible when you finally have the upper hand. What happens when the person who embarrassed you suddenly needs something from you? What happens when you become the supervisor? What happens when people finally start listening to your opinion or when you gain the money, influence or authority you once wished you had?
Adversity reveals character, but advantage reveals character too. We often ask God to elevate us without considering that elevation itself may become another test. Once you have the authority you wanted, will you treat people the way you wished people had treated you?
Power should not simply make us more capable. It should make us more responsible.
Jesus Shows Us Power Under Control
The greatest example of power under control is Jesus Christ. Jesus did not lack authority or the ability to respond to those who mocked, betrayed and abused Him. Yet His strength was not governed by wounded pride or ego. His actions remained submitted to purpose.
That is the kind of strength every Soldier of Light Against Darkness™ should seek—not simply enough power to defeat something, but enough character to know how that power should be used.
Without restraint, strength can become domination. Authority can become abuse. Confidence can become arrogance. Justice can become revenge. Righteous anger can become destructive rage.
Having power is one thing. Being trustworthy enough to carry it is another.
Self-Control Does Not Mean Being Weak
Restraint does not mean allowing people to mistreat you. It does not mean refusing to establish boundaries or remaining silent about injustice. Sometimes love requires confrontation. Sometimes leadership requires discipline. Sometimes justice requires action.
Self-control means that you determine your response instead of anger, pride, fear or revenge determining it for you. You can confront without becoming cruel. You can establish boundaries without becoming hateful. You can hold someone accountable without trying to destroy them.
You can be powerful without becoming dangerous.
Declaration for the One Learning Restraint
Speak this over your life:
I will not measure my strength only by what I am capable of doing.
I will measure it by the character I demonstrate when I have the power to choose.
I will not allow anger, pride, revenge or ego to control my actions.
I will ask God for wisdom before I respond and discipline before I retaliate.
I will use whatever strength, influence, authority and gifts God gives me to protect, serve, build and encourage.
I will remember that self-control is not weakness. It is power submitted to purpose.
Final Thoughts
The most important thing about power may not be what you can do with it. It may be what you refuse to do with it.
Angelo™ possesses tremendous power, but Kevin must learn that strength without emotional control can become dangerous. Jeff is a courageous warrior, but his journey reminds him that anger cannot be allowed to lead him. Throughout S.O.L.A.D.™, the heroes discover that defeating darkness requires more than becoming stronger than the enemy. They must also make sure darkness does not determine how they use their strength.
The same is true for us. Power will reveal us. Authority will reveal us. Influence will reveal us. Having the advantage will reveal us. Proverbs 16:32 reminds us that ruling our own spirit can require more strength than conquering a city.
Anybody can tell you what they would do if they had more power. Character is revealed by what you refuse to do once you actually have it.
Step Deeper Into the S.O.L.A.D.™ Journey
If this message spoke to you, experience the full journey of S.O.L.A.D.™: Soldiers of Light Against Darkness™: The Angelo™ & Angeline™ Chronicles.
The novels are filled with superheroes, demons, battles and extraordinary abilities, but beneath the action are questions about faith, responsibility, anger, character and what happens when imperfect human beings are entrusted with incredible power.
You can purchase your autographed copies of Book I and Book II directly from my bookstore at:
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